Grumpy Elder Appreciator T-Shirts

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

The Final Selfie

"...but, seriously..."

Old Tortoise

"I've finally got my head together."

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"Are you binge watching again?"

'FQ...?'

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

'Try not to take offense when he says - 'Of all the hip joints in all the world etc etc.''

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."

Old woman staring at pregnant woman's bump.

Complaints Department

'God knows where you libido went!'

"Stick-in-the-mud Cruise"

"I bet those candles are heavier than the cake!"

"OK. You're the Ghost of Christmas Present. Quite amusing. Now go away!"

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

"You're not fooling anyone trying to cover up your age."

'Eh...has anyone got a pencil?'

"Not exactly the kind of morale boosting I had in mind."

'There wasn't much of a collection I'm afraid. Most of the people who really liked you are dead.'

"George Stoner is here from Terre Haute. He and Henry are talking over old times."

'Did somebody order a Grumpy Meal?'