Grumpy Observer Gifts

"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."

Old woman staring at pregnant woman's bump.

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

The Government That Cried Wolf

Old Man Journal

"If the press brings up your past just double down on 'The sky is falling!'."

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

Dirty Tricks Dept.

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

Grumpy Old Men

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Why, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'

Pyramid Garden

*2020

'The demeanor of this judicial panel doesn't bode well for your appeal.'

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

Please, please please let me be the one to tell him we outsourced his job.

Highway ends with sign "Whatever"

"He knows nothing of the Superglue theft and he's sticking to the facts."

Beware of Curmudgeon!

'FQ...?'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

Vote Glibney! Give government back to the people! 'What's the point? -- they'd just sell it on E-Bay.'

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'