Grumpy Commentator Gifts

Old Man Journal

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Expressions of mystery.

Grumpy old merry men.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

'I like it.'

Grumpy Old Men

Art Gallery.

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

'Cheer up...'

'I know how you feel.'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

'Self-help books for cynics'

"No, the guy who had this job before me didn't retire - he escaped."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept