Grumpiness Analyst Gifts

'We'll be putting you in the 'crabby neighbor', demographic.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Old Man Journal

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Cheer up...'

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

I HATE STUFF

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Moan Pig.

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

'Dinner.'

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

Grumpy Moody Boy.

"Irritable bowls syndrome."