Grumpiness Analyst Gifts

'We'll be putting you in the 'crabby neighbor', demographic.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Old Man Journal

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

"You have the Hum bug.'

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'Cheer up...'

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

I HATE STUFF

Uncle Murray Weekly

"You're still grumpy. See if you can get a refund on that Happy Meal."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

'Dinner.'

Moan Pig.

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

Grumpy Moody Boy.

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'