Grumpiness Advocate Gifts

I HATE STUFF

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"You have the Hum bug.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

'Cheer up...'

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

'Dinner.'

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

Moan Pig.

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

Grumpy Moody Boy.

"Irritable bowls syndrome."

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'

Why weathermen are forced to retire at 55.

'Dear, your father is just a big crab these days.'