Grumpiness Empath Gifts

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Cheer up...'

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

I HATE STUFF

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"You're still grumpy. See if you can get a refund on that Happy Meal."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

Moan Pig.

'Dinner.'

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

Grumpy Moody Boy.

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'

'Dear, your father is just a big crab these days.'

"I'm sorry, Harold is resting at the moment. He's been trying to be amicable all day."