Grumpiness Gifts

Moan Pig.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"You have the Hum bug.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'Cheer up...'

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

I HATE STUFF

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"You're still grumpy. See if you can get a refund on that Happy Meal."

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'Dinner.'

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

Grumpy Moody Boy.

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 5