Grumpy Grandparent Appreciator Gifts

"OK. You're the Ghost of Christmas Present. Quite amusing. Now go away!"

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

Can't read 'SLOW'.

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

"Meals on wheels? More like muck on a truck"

Future Old People

Young MacDonald

"My great granddad says fruits and vegetables keep him healthy. He calls them 'fossil fuels.'"

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

Beware of Curmudgeon!

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

I need to take the day off. Family tragedy. What happened? An errant parachutist crash-landed. My grandmother knocked down. Then attacked by clowns. No one ever buys sick day anymore.

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

"Go ahead. Ask Grandpa to tell you the story about why we don't play with matches."

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

"Stick-in-the-mud Cruise"

'I'm not here!'

'Watching Chet compete with our great grandson to see who can go longest without having to have his diaper changed. What are you doing?'

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!

'Did somebody order a Grumpy Meal?'

"I...hate...this....song."

'Underneath that crusty exterior is a lovely pie filling.'

'Cheer up,only ten minutes to go and you can get miserable again.'

Children throwing snowballs at an elderly gentleman

Perfect sincerity; or, tinkings aloud No. I - Bachelor who dislikes children tells a mother that he will not leave her son anything just because he is named after him

"Not coming then? You wouldn't even come to your own funeral, you!"

Bert escalates his war on inanity: Warning! Actually saying LOL will be hazardous to your health.