Grumpy Granny Gifts

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Moanathon.

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

'Sunnyside down.'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 12

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

Beware of Curmudgeon!

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

'Quick, the coffee!'

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

'FQ...?'

'No.'

Pissed-off hour.

Moan Pig.

"'Ere! I've been readin' about you in the paper. Winnin' £10 million's made you sad, lonely an' bitter!"

"No more cross buns for you!"

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

'Not now - I'm under a lot of atmospheric pressure.'

Have A Nice Day (piss off)

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

"OK. You're the Ghost of Christmas Present. Quite amusing. Now go away!"

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"

'I'll kill that dog of yours.'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 6