Grandparent Admirer Gifts

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

"When you said I'd 'Really clean up' when Grandma visits I didn't know you meant my room!"

Future Old People

"I'd tell you about my grandchildren, but their lawyers have advised against it."

Al Pacino

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

'Child resistant cap'

"Go ahead. Ask Grandpa to tell you the story about why we don't play with matches."

I need to take the day off. Family tragedy. What happened? An errant parachutist crash-landed. My grandmother knocked down. Then attacked by clowns. No one ever buys sick day anymore.

'Boy, Grandmas sure are cute at that age.'

"Mum, please, tell me I take after your side the family."

That's what I call value.

"OK. You're the Ghost of Christmas Present. Quite amusing. Now go away!"

'I may not look like much but f**k with me and you're dead!'

The End is Nigh!

Clark Gable

'You realize I have to tell grandma about this?'

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

"I'm only attracted to older women."

'First time grandfather hey! Me, I'm a great great great great great great great great grandfather...'

Jimmy, Sixth-Generation Pain in the Ass.

"Will a small deposit hold this until I can soften up my grandmom?"

'Granny's got wind again!'

'So basically - your descendants are slime and you crawled from under a rock.'

"I think the best part about being grandparents is tat we get to spoil the grand kids rotten...then they go home!"