Grandchild Enthusiast Gifts

"I'd tell you about my grandchildren, but their lawyers have advised against it."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Computer Room.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

At the Museum

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Football Fans

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Director/Action Man toy.

A young Don King

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

I will study my speling words...

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'