Grumpy Humor Aficionado Gifts

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"I hate it..."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"Hey. When I want your help, I'll ask for it."

"You have the Hum bug.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Grumpy Old Men

"Honey, I have to go to the Moria refugee camp. I'll be back soon, the work there will practically take cake of itself."

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'I know how you feel.'

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

Covid Boarding Pass

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Stop pestering me. Dating you is the last thing I'd do."

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'