Grumpy Humor Gifts

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Grumpy old merry men.

Old Man Journal

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'I know how you feel.'

'Self-help books for cynics'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'No.'

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

Moan Pig.