Grumpy Old Men Enthusiasts Pillows

"Do we really want to spend our golden years judging people who buy the fancy-pants coffee drinks?"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

"You have the Hum bug.'

Grumpy Old Men

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"Meals on wheels? More like muck on a truck"

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

"He's angry about getting old."

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 5

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

Why weathermen are forced to retire at 55.

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.