Grumpy Old Men Enthusiasts Pillows

"Do we really want to spend our golden years judging people who buy the fancy-pants coffee drinks?"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

"You have the Hum bug.'

Grumpy Old Men

"Meals on wheels? More like muck on a truck"

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Kids get right up my nose!'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'Self-help books for cynics'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

"He's angry about getting old."

Why weathermen are forced to retire at 55.

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.