Grocery Attendant Gifts

'This could be a new record!'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Thank you, Essential Workers

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

"The good news is that a delicious stick of jerky is still a very affordable seventy-five cents."

"Nap time."

'Steady...here he comes...wait for it, wait for it...'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

Biker chopper shopper

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

Woman stuck in frozen aisle.

'Keep an eye on that guy, I've got a feeling he could take off!'

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

Self Service Island

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

'New! - 'Fuel Price Rage' counselor on duty.'

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?