Gallery Attendant Gifts

Museum Guard Portrait

"He wasn't wearing glasses till you came in!"

Rodins way out

Jan Arnolfini and his wife...(it was a boy)

"Would you like me to go and get one of our experts so that they can tell you whether it makes you want to laugh, dance, since or cry."

"Apparently it's a temporary exhibit."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"Would you like some wings?"

Fight or Flight

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

The World Wide Web.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

The World's Easiest Airport

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Employee of the Month Parking

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

A private jet takes off

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'Flight simulator'

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Vaccination Passport

Airplane food

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."