Gallery Attendant Gifts

Museum Guard Portrait

"He wasn't wearing glasses till you came in!"

Rodins way out

Jan Arnolfini and his wife...(it was a boy)

"Would you like me to go and get one of our experts so that they can tell you whether it makes you want to laugh, dance, since or cry."

"Apparently it's a temporary exhibit."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"Would you like some wings?"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Fight or Flight

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

A private jet takes off

Employee of the Month Parking

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'Flight simulator'

Vaccination Passport

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Airplane food

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"You're never home."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."