Gallery Visitor Gifts

'I may not know art, but I know what goes over a green sofa.'

A piece of modern art is labelled so that it is hung the right way up.

Amateur artist talking to carrier

Auxiliary Fire Service Memorial

"It's my latest work...I only vomited it this morning."

Kid draws moustaches on all the paintings in a gallery and a guard whilst the guard is on lunch.

Man Overly Enjoys the Nude Artwork in a Gallery

'Remember your blood pressure.'

Kid see shadow from mom as mom see shadow in painting.

Larry's used art

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Projectile painting.'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Rodin's Browser

Cats at private view

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Children's Art Show.

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

I painted them all from memory.

Art Gallery.

M.C. Escher Exhibit Upstairs.