Gallery Frequenter Gifts

Pirate Artist

Larry's used art

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Well....I could've done this!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'Projectile painting.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Rodin's Browser

Children's Art Show.

Cats at private view

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

Art Gallery.

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

I love Museum Shops

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

I painted them all from memory.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'