Art Gallery Attendee Gifts

Jan Arnolfini and his wife...(it was a boy)

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'Projectile painting.'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

I painted them all from memory.

Art Gallery.

The Cremaster Cycle

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Private Viewing

"I read 'Art News.'"

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

The less one gets it, the more it's art.

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"It's a great work!"

Francoise Gilot

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

"I could do that."

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

Understanding art.

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

"Is this 'pollocks'."

Kid see shadow from mom as mom see shadow in painting.

Tracey Emin's Bed

Tilted painting

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

"It's my latest work...I only vomited it this morning."