Art Exhibition Attendee Gifts

"I could do that."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

It's a call from Tate modern.

Painting taking root...

Picasso: The Early Years

"It's a mobile."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

Art Gallery.

The Cremaster Cycle

'You're no Pollock.'

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

Instant art

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Who's the artist?"

Unfinished Masterpiece.

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

Elvis Presley buying a ticket to art show saying "One for the Monet"

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

McCartney art exhibition: 'The only reason they gave him the show is because he's got a famous daughter'

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

"But all it's playing is Mussorgsky's 'pictures at an exhibition'."

'I'm not cut out for this job' (Matisse sketch to cut out paper model)

'I call it 'No Admittance'.'

Tracey Emin - Private view.

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

"I'm expected to write a good review of this stuff... So here I go with some confusing art rhetoric."

Whistler exhibition - "I trust you will have some apposite comments to make eh, Ruskin?

"I suffer for my art..."

I paint landscapes to cleanse my palette.

"It's taken her years to develop that naive, spontaneous, style."