Attending Art Exhibits Gifts

"This painting should be removed! It's way too saucy!"

"I just paint what I see."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"Well....I could've done this!"

It's a call from Tate modern.

"It's a mobile."

Art Gallery.

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"I could do that."

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

Elvis Presley buying a ticket to art show saying "One for the Monet"

Unfinished Masterpiece.

His new 'Absence of Anything' reminds me strangely of his earlier blank 'Nothing to Say' canvasses."

Tilted painting

"But all it's playing is Mussorgsky's 'pictures at an exhibition'."

"Who's the artist?"

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

"I detect an accent – money?"

Tracey Emin - Private view.

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

"I'm expected to write a good review of this stuff... So here I go with some confusing art rhetoric."

Whistler exhibition - "I trust you will have some apposite comments to make eh, Ruskin?

I paint landscapes to cleanse my palette.

"I suffer for my art..."

"It's taken her years to develop that naive, spontaneous, style."

'I'm really a painter and decorator - I only do this to pay the bills.'

"I collect art. Or trash, depending on your point of view."

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."