Attending Art Exhibits T-Shirts

"This painting should be removed! It's way too saucy!"

"I just paint what I see."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"Well....I could've done this!"

It's a call from Tate modern.

"It's a mobile."

Art Gallery.

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"I could do that."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Who's the artist?"

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

Tilted painting

His new 'Absence of Anything' reminds me strangely of his earlier blank 'Nothing to Say' canvasses."

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

"I detect an accent – money?"

"But all it's playing is Mussorgsky's 'pictures at an exhibition'."

Tracey Emin - Private view.

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

"I'm expected to write a good review of this stuff... So here I go with some confusing art rhetoric."

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

'I'm really a painter and decorator - I only do this to pay the bills.'

'Oh, I think I know exactly what the artist is saying. He's saying; 'With a bit of luck, some idiot will buy this junk'!'

"I suffer for my art..."

Whistler exhibition - "I trust you will have some apposite comments to make eh, Ruskin?

"I like it, it takes me back to my childhood."

"I collect art. Or trash, depending on your point of view."

I paint landscapes to cleanse my palette.

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"It's taken her years to develop that naive, spontaneous, style."