Visiting Art Exhibits Gifts

"I collect art. Or trash, depending on your point of view."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"Well....I could've done this!"

It's a call from Tate modern.

Art Gallery.

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"I could do that."

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

"But all it's playing is Mussorgsky's 'pictures at an exhibition'."

"Who's the artist?"

Tilted painting

His new 'Absence of Anything' reminds me strangely of his earlier blank 'Nothing to Say' canvasses."

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

Tracey Emin - Private view.

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

"I'm expected to write a good review of this stuff... So here I go with some confusing art rhetoric."

'I'm really a painter and decorator - I only do this to pay the bills.'

'Oh, I think I know exactly what the artist is saying. He's saying; 'With a bit of luck, some idiot will buy this junk'!'

"I suffer for my art..."

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

Whistler exhibition - "I trust you will have some apposite comments to make eh, Ruskin?

"I like it, it takes me back to my childhood."

I paint landscapes to cleanse my palette.

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"It's taken her years to develop that naive, spontaneous, style."

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'