Art Gallery Visitor Gifts

Three dogs look at a picture of a bone, with tails wagging.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Projectile painting.'

Rodin's Browser

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

Art Gallery.

The Cremaster Cycle

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"That must be the artist over there."

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

Private Viewing

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Francoise Gilot

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

'You're no Pollock.'

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

The less one gets it, the more it's art.

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

"It's a great work!"

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

Understanding art.