Gallery Frequenter Pillows

Pirate Artist

Larry's used art

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Projectile painting.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Rodin's Browser

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Cats at private view

Children's Art Show.

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

Art Gallery.

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

I love Museum Shops

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."