Gallery Viewing Gifts

'He really captured her in this one.'

Tracey Emin - Private view.

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

Picasso style art gallery curator.

Artist.

Window cleaning art.

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

Art Gallery.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"That must be the artist over there."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

Private Viewing

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"It's a great work!"

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

Who are you?

Francoise Gilot

The less one gets it, the more it's art.

Please do not touch the art. Please touch the artist.

'You're no Pollock.'

Understanding art.

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."