Attendant Gifts

'I have carpal tunnel syndrome from raising it.'

"Did you remember to tip the doorman?"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"Morning, all!"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Airport Security.

"Would you like some wings?"

Fight or Flight

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Good Luck!

The World Wide Web.

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

The World's Easiest Airport

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

A private jet takes off

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Employee of the Month Parking

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."