Attendant T-Shirts

'I have carpal tunnel syndrome from raising it.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"Morning, all!"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Airport Security.

"Would you like some wings?"

Fight or Flight

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Good Luck!

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

The World Wide Web.

The World's Easiest Airport

Shake it all about sign on desk

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

A private jet takes off

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Employee of the Month Parking