Cabin Attendant T-Shirts

"Martha will now do the rounds with an assortment of light snacks and liquid refreshments."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Airport Security.

"Would you like some wings?"

Fight or Flight

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

A private jet takes off

Employee of the Month Parking

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'Flight simulator'

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Vaccination Passport

Airplane food

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"You're never home."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Folks, if you look out of your window at those clouds below, you'll have a nice view of the Grateful Dead dancing bears."

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."