Cabin Crew Member T-Shirts

'We've just crossed the International Date Line - have ANOTHER nice day!'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Would you like some wings?"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Next camera crew 5 mins

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Lifesaver!

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Airport

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

'Silent type, eh?'

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

"January 11. Still struggling with the novel. Chopped more firewood."

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

"Who wants to go first?"

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."