Assistants Gifts

' Is he expecting you?'

Lady to other: 'Not the screen, silly - you put the white-out on the CD!'

Office dictator.

'Powerbrowse this and get back to me with a sentence-long synopsis.'

'Er, that's not a rubbish container, that's a classroom, Minister.'

'Mary, I've got meetings all day so I'm going to be unable to have my scheduled happiness moment at 3:01. You have it for me, OK?'

'Have you got a mirror, Doctor - He wants to see what he looks like?'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Good Luck!

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

Busy office.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"...It's come to my attention you've been taking my calls."

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Do I have many meetings today?"

"Can you come back next week? He's napping."