Animal Assistant Gifts

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Good Luck!

"This never happened."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Shake it all about sign on desk

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

Cat in Tree.

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Fill it up!"

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

Dog wearing a cone

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"....how many kids have we got now?"

InIn by-products.

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

"Do you have an appointment?"

Not much money, glory, or praise

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

In - Out - Pending.