Animal Assistant Gifts

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Good Luck!

Shake it all about sign on desk

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"This never happened."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

Cat in Tree.

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Fill it up!"

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

Dog wearing a cone

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

InIn by-products.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

In - Out - Pending.

"Do you have an appointment?"

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Not much money, glory, or praise