Professional Assistants Gifts

Lady to other: 'Not the screen, silly - you put the white-out on the CD!'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Good Luck!

In and Out Tray

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

Busy office.

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Can you come back next week? He's napping."

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.