Political Assistant Gifts

"It's a good speech - just a couple of points that need obfuscation."

"Senator, the American people, whom you often mention in your speeches, would like a word with you."

Even Long-Serving Politicians Need Good Assistants.

"Again! Don't all the king's men have more important things to do than put together a foolish egg?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

The president's men

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

SAGE mentality

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Busy office.

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

"Can you come back next week? He's napping."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"...It's come to my attention you've been taking my calls."

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

"Do I have many meetings today?"

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

Rock and a Hard Place

"Hey look, my To Do list! I haven't been able to find this for weeks!"

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

'You are smarter, faster and more efficient than Carter... they's why I'm making you the new assistant to Carter!'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'