Parliamentary Aide Gifts

House of Lords reform - 'It needs reforming into a chamber of people who agree with me.'

"Apparently, cutbacks to support all those funding increases you've promised start here."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The president's men

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

SAGE mentality

Rock and a Hard Place

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"Rudy has asked me to apologize, on his behalf, for your being offended..."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

Automatic Congressman

Half a house is better than none.

"He's only been president a few months. Just give hima little time."

"Our rule of thumb is: 'Keep it complicated' - so no one will understand how we choose a candidate."

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

"Some of it is soft and some of it is hard, but the main thing is that all of it is money."

The Election Strategy

'I believe in you, Jeffrey, and I believe in Al Gore.'

'He's trying to fine-tune the economy again.'

Another Rogue Trader

'I wouldn't put much faith into Senator Bludgeon's promise to immediately begin investigating the competition. After all, it takes 30 days just to make instant coffee in the Senate.'

Obama: Problems causing instability.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'