Parliamentary Staff Gifts

Manners and customs of 'ye Englyshe', scene 3.

"I'm thinking of buying a peerage with the money from my second job."

'Delivery for the House of Commons?'

No! The new mining bill hasn't passed yet!

'Seems like the eyes have it.'

MP opens letter - A tiny lady pops out of envelope.

Betty Boothroyd

Very worst abuse of question period.

Christmas in the Commons

'What's this! Fighting between MP's or is David Haye here?'

"There's definitely less interference from the new speaker."

"Do you have any drugs?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Mario Draghi

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Multi-tasking.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

Busy office.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.