Political Staffers Gifts

"You didn't see much of us last summer because we were busy studying for the mid terms!"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

The president's men

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Busy office.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

Rock and a Hard Place

'Brains...brains...brains...'

Sales.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

Around here it got a little tricky...

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

'And Steven here takes care of the donkey work.'

'Miss Hartley, implement me a coffee and a cheese danish.'