Campaign Staff Gifts

"I do 30 minutes of aerobic speech making, 30 minutes of hand shaking, and 30 minutes of kicking the can down the road."

"He's coming across as Reaganish but not Reaganesque."

When hiking trail crosses campaign trail...VOTE!

Romney Pep Talk

'Yeehah! On to New Hampshire!'

'Isn't it time someone invented the Campaign App?'

'Well, and this is Hackstrom. He is the head of the canvassing department.'

"Good boy."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'If only every year was an election year.'

Multi-tasking.

Political convention

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'These are job perks.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Busy office.

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Elections

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."