Political Advisor Gifts

Valentines to President Trump from his staff

"You'll have to phrase it another way. They have no word for 'fetch.' "

"Half empty because of congressional inaction, and half full because of the tireless efforts of the President."

'Mr Campbell, complete the saying 'there's no smoke without...'' 'Mirrors.'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

'Great speech! But let's cut your carefully reasoned conclusion and insert an uplifting sports metaphor.'

'I was sure the nuclear option was only a metaphor.'

"A word of advice...a simple yes or no answer must be avoided at all times."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'...And if elected, my foreign policy advisor will have a pronounceable name and speak with a Midwestern accent!'

When the President's adviser makes a mistake.

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

"Gentlemen, the fact that all my horses and all my men couldn't put Humpty together again simply proves to me that I must have more horses and more men."

"Some of it is soft and some of it is hard, but the main thing is that all of it is money."

"This must be my transition team."

"What's wrong with me and where am I going?"

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'For the last time Mother. No, I can't arrange to have you forceably returned to power!'

Market researchers were advised never to target Labour MP's.

The Election Strategy

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

California's Deficit.

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

A career in politics.

'How about this arrangement then...you PM, me A.M.?'

"Another apology from Zelenskyy..." "What's he say?" "Tanks."

"It's O.K. to admit that the sanctions are taking their toll."

"Jobs, jobs, jobs."

Yard Sale at the Romneys'

"Trust me, at this point it's the only way we can boost your numbers on likability."

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

"Actually that wailing isn't Larry the cat, it's Dominic Cummings laughing."

"Hang on, Mike. I think I found that shadow campaign being mounted against me."