Political Advisor Gifts

Valentines to President Trump from his staff

"You'll have to phrase it another way. They have no word for 'fetch.' "

"Half empty because of congressional inaction, and half full because of the tireless efforts of the President."

'Mr Campbell, complete the saying 'there's no smoke without...'' 'Mirrors.'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"A word of advice...a simple yes or no answer must be avoided at all times."

'I was sure the nuclear option was only a metaphor.'

'Great speech! But let's cut your carefully reasoned conclusion and insert an uplifting sports metaphor.'

When the President's adviser makes a mistake.

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'...And if elected, my foreign policy advisor will have a pronounceable name and speak with a Midwestern accent!'

Market researchers were advised never to target Labour MP's.

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

California's Deficit.

"What's wrong with me and where am I going?"

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

'How about this arrangement then...you PM, me A.M.?'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Rudy Giuliani

"Some of it is soft and some of it is hard, but the main thing is that all of it is money."

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

'For the last time Mother. No, I can't arrange to have you forceably returned to power!'

"Gentlemen, the fact that all my horses and all my men couldn't put Humpty together again simply proves to me that I must have more horses and more men."

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

A career in politics.

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

The Election Strategy

"This must be my transition team."

"Another apology from Zelenskyy..." "What's he say?" "Tanks."

Yard Sale at the Romneys'

More Coffee, Please

Another Rogue Trader

Three Years Later, the Phone Is Ringing

They Noticed

"Actually that wailing isn't Larry the cat, it's Dominic Cummings laughing."