Political Consultant Gifts

"No comment for now, but there'll be a press leak at five."

Wilson: The Appearance of Integrity

Opinion polls

"We want to warn you that the candidate's comments have yet to be spun, so you may have to formulate your own opinion."

'I agree with your position completely; you can count on my support.'

"Here is the campaign strategy and here are the after-the-fact excuses."

"Do you take dark money?"

'My pollster tells me it's 'position-switchero' time.'

What the American people want...and our leaders.

"Nothing pays off more than a million dollars donated to the political campaigns of a few key politicians!"

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

'It's not a privilege, Junior. Wealthy people have an obligation to finance political campaigns and run the country.'

"Bad news - that fire in your belly is an ulcer."

You've got the skeletons....we'll provide the closet!

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

'What is it you like most about the Democrats?'

"He's not the best candidate. He's the best candidate money can buy."

Election Speech Writer

". . . And if elected, I promise to shut up."

'I can't put my money where my mouth is -- I've already put it where my Congressman's mouth is.'

"Take us to your diversity outreach consultant."

"If elected, I promise to say just "no" to Washington interns!"

All Our Politics Is Local (On Advice of Tip O' Neill)

Gallup...opinion plus...just plain nosey.

"You should work for the good of America and the people."

"Vote for me so I can get on with my life."

"They just bought a swing state."

I voted.

F&E Marketing and Advertising. Election years are the hardest! It's tough to sell guys like this new political client. To begin with, he has IRS problems. Let's says "He's an experienced tax-cutter." He also took bribes to pay off his debts. That's great! We'll spin it that "he knows how to balance a budget!" He gave public sector jobs to unqualified family members. "He's lowered unemployment." And he has high unfavorable ratings across the political spectrum. Perfect! We'll call him

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

"We're interested in hearing if your ideas align with the choices we've already made."

Best System Ever

Gerrymandering

Boris is a liar - Boris is a liability