Political Consultant Pillows

"No comment for now, but there'll be a press leak at five."

Wilson: The Appearance of Integrity

Opinion polls

"We want to warn you that the candidate's comments have yet to be spun, so you may have to formulate your own opinion."

'I agree with your position completely; you can count on my support.'

What the American people want...and our leaders.

"Do you take dark money?"

"Here is the campaign strategy and here are the after-the-fact excuses."

'My pollster tells me it's 'position-switchero' time.'

"Bad news - that fire in your belly is an ulcer."

"Nothing pays off more than a million dollars donated to the political campaigns of a few key politicians!"

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

'It's not a privilege, Junior. Wealthy people have an obligation to finance political campaigns and run the country.'

You've got the skeletons....we'll provide the closet!

". . . And if elected, I promise to shut up."

Election Speech Writer

'What is it you like most about the Democrats?'

All Our Politics Is Local (On Advice of Tip O' Neill)

"If elected, I promise to say just "no" to Washington interns!"

"He's not the best candidate. He's the best candidate money can buy."

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

Gallup...opinion plus...just plain nosey.

"Take us to your diversity outreach consultant."

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

'I can't put my money where my mouth is -- I've already put it where my Congressman's mouth is.'

"Some PACs, senator, are more super than others."

"Peggy, can we find someone to misuse a few of these campaign funds for a run to the deli to get us some lunch?"

"Vote for me so I can get on with my life."

"How long has the Oval Office had a mirror on the ceiling?"

"Sorry, the line is busy again. He and Joe Lieberman are still exchanging pleasantries."

"We've gotten the poll results. We've crunched the numbers. We've adjusted for margin of error. He's got to shoot more ducks."

"You should work for the good of America and the people."

"They just bought a swing state."

"My lobbyist trumps your legal team."

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."