Personal Assistants Gifts

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

Lady to other: 'Not the screen, silly - you put the white-out on the CD!'

'Please lace a staff vacancy Ad for me...'Assistant Required, either sex statistics 36, 22, 36'.'

'Amy, cancel all my appointments. I have enough money.'

'Mary, I've got meetings all day so I'm going to be unable to have my scheduled happiness moment at 3:01. You have it for me, OK?'

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Good Luck!

In and Out Tray

Shake it all about sign on desk

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

Busy office.

"Fill it up!"

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."