Personal Assistants Gifts

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

Lady to other: 'Not the screen, silly - you put the white-out on the CD!'

'Please lace a staff vacancy Ad for me...'Assistant Required, either sex statistics 36, 22, 36'.'

'Amy, cancel all my appointments. I have enough money.'

'Mary, I've got meetings all day so I'm going to be unable to have my scheduled happiness moment at 3:01. You have it for me, OK?'

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Good Luck!

Shake it all about sign on desk

In and Out Tray

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Fill it up!"

Busy office.

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'