Digital Assistants Gifts

"Alexa. . . why do I have this feeling that I'm under almost constant surveillance?"

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"I can't talk now, Siri. . . Alexa is right here in the room!"

"We named her Alexa - thinking forward to when she'll be taking care of us."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Alexa, you have all the answers, where the devil did I put you?"

Artificial Intelligence Usually Beats Real Stupidity.

"Nope, not under the cushion. Siri, where else do you think my remote could be?"

"Sorry. I now only identify as Alex."

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

Rudolph vents. . . .

"You're using Alexa to talk to my Siri!"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In basket-case.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Morning, all!"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Good Luck!

Shake it all about sign on desk

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

Computer Expert

Where was I?

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Terry had a computer bug.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'