Digital Assistants Pillows

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"We named her Alexa - thinking forward to when she'll be taking care of us."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Artificial Intelligence Usually Beats Real Stupidity.

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In basket-case.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Morning, all!"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Good Luck!

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

Computer Expert

Where was I?

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Terry had a computer bug.

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."