Digital Assistance Pillows

Don Z. And His User-Friendly Apartment

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

"That`s right, ask it anything you like."

Text Culture

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

'zzz sleep.'

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

"Hey google, find me research that says sugar is good for you."

Username/Password

Palm Top Readings

"Alexa and Siri both say I've been good."

"Sorry. I now only identify as Alex."

"I'm strictly yes or no. Alexa and Siri deal with facts. Value judgements we leave to your mother."

"Alexa. . . why do I have this feeling that I'm under almost constant surveillance?"

Rudolph vents. . . .

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

'I can't stay out very long...I have to help my father with his computer.'

"I can't talk now, Siri. . . Alexa is right here in the room!"

'In the future I see much spam and many people with a blog.'

"You think you're addicted to Twitter? I'm sorry, I don't follow you."

Generation-I. Generation-V. What're you old folks doing? Renaming your generation. I'm thinking Generation I - 'cause you're living virtual lives. Where'd he go? Got bored after 10 seconds and left to send an instant message to someone across the room.

It was cute when my digital assistant played "Bye Bye Birdie" after I asked for help with a pesky bird. But it was just snarky playing the theme from "Mission: Impossible" when I asked for guidance on reducing my debt.

"Alexa, you have all the answers, where the devil did I put you?"

"Siri, clean up all the Christmas decorations."

Will like AND comment on every on of your Facebook posts, for food.