Digital Access Pillows

Username/Password

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

The Computer Bore

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"You know, there are other emojis."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Text Culture

WiFi Signals

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Obsession with the Internet.

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

"Now you can send it."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

Two Generations of Readers

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."