Digital Assistant Developer Gifts

"Alexa sort this s**t out!"

"Besides digital assistant, what other voice work have you done?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

Aggression/Security

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'Our gymnasium is being repaired so we played sports games on our computers.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Robot Waiter

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

"And this is another economic indicator."

"You call yourselves a demographic?"