Ai Developer Gifts

'Sure, it seems harmless, but you hire one human and the next thing you know, they're taking your job.'

Data analysts realize their smart building has OCD.

In their secret campaign to enslave humanity, the machines make their first big misstep with Artificial Sincerity.

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'We use intelligent robots, but not to intelligent because they'd want a union.'

'It says it's sick of doing things like inventories and payrolls, and it wants to make some breakthroughs in astrophysics.'

"The name's Alexa, Who's Siri?"

'I don't remember Bob being this good. I'm beginning to suspect that it's not even him.'

'Must be another of Obama's healthcare cost cutting.'

Robot sitting at office desk with inbox and outbox labeled in binary code.

Dog robot

"Tap swipe, or pinch the screen...and just for fun, tickle it here and it giggles."

"He's surprisingly sensitive about heckling."

"I doubt whether artificial intelligence will ever replace the farmer."

"Did you call a plumber?"

'After 5 minutes it turns itself off and says: 'Get a life!''

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Nice work! Combining artificial intelligence and voice capabilities, we finally we have a product that can actually sell itself."

"It's context aware, so it can tap your wrist when you're about to put your foot in your mouth."

"But I am a robot."

"Are the ingredients real?"

Human and Robot Problems

". . . and lastly, prove you'e not a robot."

"If you ask me, this guys is way too intelligent!"

Ironmongers

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

"It says it wants to do a crossword."

'Then, my boss said, 'hey, what can they do to you? You're not even Human.'

"Well, since you ask, I think the whole lot of you are too clever by half!"

'Just let the machine get it.'

"People are sick of 'automated' systems, they want to talk to real people..."

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"It's programmed not to be formulaic."

"Just remember one thing. You wouldn't have your artificial intelligence without my actual intelligence."