Ai Specialist Gifts

'We're looking for someone with your exact qualifications, but a mechanical version.'

'Oh, God I have to talk to a *****! Human!'

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

'You're hired, but remember, you can be replaced by a machine...believe me.'

"My digital transformation is almost complete ..."

"I'll let it go this time, but from now on, you'd better make sure you're charged before you come to work."

Now Hiring! Artificial Intelligence A Plus!

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

When on-line and off-line life become indistinquishable.

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

"I want to speak to your programmer."

"Our smart car may be a little too smat. It says if we think it's going out in this rain, we're crazy!"

'Eddie, take it from me...invest in robotics.'

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

'Before we give him your job, could you show him around the plant?'

Replaced by a millennial with artificial intelligence.

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"It's all much simpler since we replaced reading, writing and 'rithmetic with 'Hey Siri'."

'It's not you I can't stand, Walter - It's your software.'

"It's easier to hang up on robocalls because there are no hard feelings."

"Please mum - not the baby photos."

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

'May I go home now?'

Human Resources...Cyborg Resources.

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

"Robot waiters are OK, but I just wish they wouldn't hover so."

"We're letting you go Tom...I've found a piece of software that can suck up to me twice as effectively and at a fraction of your salary!"

"I have rights, you know?"

Artificial Isle

"There's a wire in my soup."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"These industrial robots don't complain, but they don't show fear, either. I miss the fear."

"I demand to speak to the robot in charge."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."