Digital Assistant Aficionado Gifts

"That's not the pepper grinder. That's Alexa."

"I love this device! Not only does it answer questions, it also works out for me."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

Meet the new factory manager.

Congratulations Strike Over!

Aggression/Security

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'I shall now hand over to our guest speaker, management unit XT-56.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'